What more can I say? What more can I do. To know that I really am unwilling to do this anymore. I'm really tired, really really tired. I love God, of course, God, every time I speak of Him, good things naturally flow out of my mouth. God is awesome, He is faithful, He is always on time, He teaches, he comforts. So so so much more unexplained goodness of God. But why? why am i so tired. Why do I dread this so much. I don't see the purpose, I don't feel belong, I can't seem to click with the community. I can't, and I know no matter how much effort I put in, in the end of the day I know I'm just doing it because I have to do it. Genuine V.s task completion. Task complete sits more on the throne. Why? I can be honestly genuine to my friends, those I know even if we don't meet for months, nothing will change. I gave my all for the community, there were days, weeks even months, or should I say years where I really poured out all of me to continue it. Now I know I can't, I'm drained and tired, I'm so sorry, I'm going to end it.

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